Time....

It seems like time is going so much quicker. I know 1 hour is still-1 hour, but it seems to go faster. Do you ever feel that way?
When I was younger, it seemed to creep by. Waiting for my birthday each year was so exciting and SLOW!!
Christmas really fit the saying..."Slow as Christmas".
Now...not so much!

A whole month has passed since my last post. Is that possible?
My daughter is now about halfway to the birth of her first child!
Thanksgiving is 3 weeks away...
and oh yea, tomorrow we vote in a President!
Time....it passes.
Loved ones leave this earth and we just keep going.
Time...just passes.
I find myself holding on to every detail of my beloved John. Time has allowed me to wake without John being my first thought. Is that time...or God allowing me to move on? There are still tears but not like there used to be. I have evolved into a sense of longing...rather than pain.
It just bothers me that everything is still there....but him. He is gone and will never return. My life is taking on different needs and it doesn't involve John. I am now labeled a "widow"....not a wife.
I still find it hard to say....my husband passed away.
That just sounds crazy, but it is my reality. 
However, as I look around I realize...I am still here and hopefully have a lot of life yet to live.
Children, grand-children, friends and
family remind me of that fact.
So this is me....
trying very hard to move to the 5th stage of grief...Acceptance.

Sometimes accepting God's will can be difficult. I pray for it everyday and I believe he has answered my prayers. I am feeling a bit of peace. Still sadness, but it is different. I take a deep breath and as a tear falls down my cheek, I exhale and feel a hand on my shoulder. Not like an actual hand, but a feeling. It is hard to explain, but I know he is there. Both God and John...watching over me. Smiling.

Thank you Heavenly Father for all my blessings
and for holding my hand.

Time....it is precious. 

Life is short...live it like you mean it!

Makes it Final

In some ways, 5 months seems like forever and in others it seems like last week. But the reality is-time has gone by one day at a time. 24 hrs a day. 7days a week-normal time passing, except nothing is normal.
John and I had talked about beginning a family cemetery on our own property. Sooner than I expected, but it is here. I must say, I like it. It is passed by all who enter the ranch. The headstone has been placed in the cemetery which makes things seem so final. It is a beautiful headstone. It is so hard to choose a headstone for the man you love and the wording that would be there FOREVER. I wanted it to say something about John so that anyone who saw it would know a little about him. It was a hard task but a decision was finally made and now it is here. Believe me, I know it is not something we want to think about, but the truth is-we are all going to leave this earth someday. The people we love the most will be left with the task of making a lot of touch decisions if we don't take care of it first. I am making plans to have all of those decisions made so that my children will not have to. Ok Ok....that is it. That is it for the doom and gloom talk. I just wanted to pass that valuable insight along. Oh, I also designed the granite oval that now sits on the fireplace. The place that made the headstone also made it.





Sooooo, what do you think of the headstone? Just by what is one it, what would you think about this man, John A. Murphy?