After a full moon, a big storm and a double rainbow
....look what showed up!
I looked out the front window across the pasture and did a double take. At first I thought to myself, "how did Yogi get over there?". Then I notice Yogi on the porch. So I looked again and realized...Holy Moly....a new calf. The black/white cow (Spudz) is the proud Momma. That is always sooooo exciting. I got close for a better look and everything looks fine. I am 99% sure it is a heifer calf. For those who don't know... a heifer is a female who has not yet calved. Once they have a calf, then they are cows. A male calf is a bull. If they are stripped of their manhood...they become a steer. This new calf brings my herd to a whopping total of 5! Funny I know. But that is alot for me.
Since the little one is mostly white, I have named her "snowflake". That is in honor of a white bull my grandfather had as I was growing up.
Just last year at this same time (actually the end of May) Spudz had surprised us again with a heifer. At the time, John was in chemo treatments about 2hrs away and staying with family there. I remember he was so excited and had a dozen questions. That next weekend I went to pick him up and bring him home just so he could see it. I know he must be watching and is excited again.
Another affirmation that life goes on. Day after day, week after week, month after month. Soon it will be year after year. Life keeps happening...until it doesn't anymore.
After planning and working hard, Murphy Ranch vegetable garden for 2012 is on it way. This is my 2nd year to "container garden". After an article in "Mother Earth News" I decided to give it a try. My first year in the containers, combined with the drought did not turn out that well. I also had alot of personal stress last season. I am looking forward to a much better year. So far-so good. With the wonderful Spring rains, the blackberry bush seems to be doing very well so far. The honeysuckle and roses are producing too.
I find gardening a little therapeutic. I enjoy listening to the sounds of the country and just being in the outdoors. I tend to think and reflect as I hold the water hose or put my hands in the dirt. Some say I got a green thumb from my maternal grandmother. However she preferred flower gardens. So I always include flowers as I garden. It seems to give me even more satisfaction. Every year I wonder how my vegetables will go and how many jars of pickles I will end up with. Like everything in life, it is unknown. I just plant them, tend them, and see what mother nature blesses me with...and read alot of Mother Earth for advice. So the gardening as begun.
Have you put anything in the ground this year?
Give it a try.
I was telling a friend today of how my emotions have been all over the map lately. Just when I think I am leveling out, I fall. It has been 8 months now without my partner, lover and best friend. I didn't realize how much John inspired me and keep me on track. Learning to be independent again is tough. But I am getting there. There are moments when I just don't believe he is gone from this earth. Never to return. John Murphy was larger than life and you knew when he was in the room. I miss that so much. I will admit there are some aspects I do enjoy. Watching whatever I want on TV and staying up as late as I please while watching the TV in bed. Eating girl food (as my friend put it). Lots of salads and not so much meat. Well, that is really only because I can't cook meat (especially grill) as well as my man could. When I use tools, they are always right where I left them when I go back for them. I know that made some of you women smile! You know what I mean. However, I only have myself to blame when I can't find something!
All in All I am adjusting. Slowly but surely. I am realizing that my life is now just that....MY LIFE. I need to find new goals. New wants. New dreams. Realize I can't (and should not expect myself) to do everything that John did. I have to find the "Brenda way of doing things". I guess realizing these things are half the battle. Now I just have to figure them out. This first year is full of realizations. As I learn things that I will do different next year or next time-the "Brenda way".
This morning I was up early and opened the door to birds singing, a slight southerly breeze and a gently nudge from the big white dog. My heart is at home here. My soul feels comfortable here. Murphy Ranch is still my piece of heaven on earth. I am never really alone.
