Thanksgiving at Murphy Ranch

I cooked for 2 days. My children helped. There was smiles and laughter, but something was missing. My honey. His strong hands were not there to prepare the turkey and keep me on task.

My father passed away when I was 23 years old

and I remember desperately wanting my family traditions to carry on.

With that thought in my heart, I was determined to carry on for my children....me too.

I stayed very busy and worked very hard to make sure everything came together.

Family and friends arrived.

The familiar food was served and it all went by so very quick.

I kept going back to last year's Thanksgiving dinner and thinking....who knew that was our last Thanksgiving with John. Would I have done anything different?

Would I have appreciated anything more?

Thanksgiving 2011 was our first without John.

But it was also our first with Brad's new wife and son.

With endings there are beginnings.

As the last child drove away, and I waved from the porch-the familiar silence returned.

This year it was even more silent.

But something was brought to my mind-rather than feel sad for the unwelcome changes,

I should remain thankful for the my many blessing.

Every night, I begin prayers with thanking my heavenly Father for my blessing.

I am most thankful for my family, friends, home and memories.

Change happens....no matter what.

These days my prayers include help to accept these changes and enjoy every day for what it is. We don't know tomorrow will bring.

We all know that.

Are you enjoying your blessing as if there may not be a Thanksgiving next year?

So I close with a tear on my cheek and a smile in my heart.....

The Adventures of Yogi

As I passed over the last cattle guard that brings me to the yard, Yogi appears to greet me. This time....no Yogi. After I pulled into the garage and went to the porch, I looked out over the pond to a see a small duck (so I thought) simming in the middle. Yogi on the bank, running in circles and wanting to swim to it. I figured it was just another duck that would fly off any minute. A bit later, I still heard Yogi barking so I went back outside. As I walked toward her, this is what I saw......

As I got closer to her, she dropped it. Still alive was the frail bird. Now I know why it did not fly off. One wing was missing. This time, I did not have what it took to nurse this little creature, so I returned it to the pond and scolded Yogi. It was getting dark and I hoped it would find a safe spot. Nature has a way of handling these things, so once again I returned to the house.

This time, Yogi by my side. I did not hear her again and have not seen the frail bird either. I googled the question: Do wings grow back on birds? The answer-Yes. So I am hoping it found a safe spot and is healing. There is plenty of underbrush and mother nature is there too.

So goodbye little one........

A Season for Giving Thanks

This season began for me yesterday. My first Thanksgiving dinner at the Murphy's without my main Murphy...John. Sometimes, my brain thinks-Why should I give thanks when my other half has been taken away? Then my heart says...look around there is still so much to be thankful for. A constant tug of war for me.

Before lunch, it was wonderful hearing my grown children laughing and enjoying their cousins. My sweet grand babies, just learning about the traditions.

Grandma rang the bell and it was time to find our places at the table

but my familiar hand was not there to lead the way.
As prayer was offered, my familiar hand to grasp was also not there.

I looked around and saw the smiles of my family and my heart was at ease.

After dinner there were the usual groups of talking and story telling. I kept expected John to come around the corner. Sometimes I even imagined it.

Then I knew he was there...there in all of us.

In his mother's smile and his siblings laugh.

He is all around me if I just look.
In the house I live in, the truck I drive,

the children he loved and raised

and most of all-in my heart.

For me, the holidays give us a special time to remember all of our loved ones that are no longer here. I remember precious traditions of years past. My parents, grandparents and all who I love and miss. I hate having to add John to that list.

I truly do. But I will smile and enjoy this season of giving thanks.

I am thankful for my children who hold me close.
I am thankful to family and friends who stand by my side.
And God in heaven for holding my hand.

What are you thankful for?

Our Freedom is Not Free

Thank you to all who serve....past, present and future.

Yes, I served on the air side of the Navy for 14yrs

(that's me in the middle with the dark hair).

It seems like another life but I have so many memories. Some good. Some Bad. I often wonder where my buddies are now. I trusted them with my life and me with theirs. Someone who you knew had your back, no matter what. I actually joined the Navy Reserves at the age of 34. I trained (now there are some stories) and became qualified as a Flight Attendant on the C9 aircraft. VR59 know as the LoneStar Squadron. My position on the aircraft was not a glamorous one but a great experience. It took me all over the world-Japan, Okinawa, Australia, Diago Garcia, Guantanamo Bay, Iwo Jima, Spain-just to mention a few places. There were some tight situations(I would tell you but I would have to kill you)can I say that on my blog? But in the end, when I found the love of my life, I gave it up.

I felt privileged to have served my country and I did it proudly. Sometimes I think it would be a great experience for everyone to serve. It would give a prospective that could make a difference. Freedom is not free. Someone every day, walks a line to provide our freedom. Visit another country and you may see what I am talking about. It is said that we do not know what we have till it is gone. I am experiencing that with my home life right now. But I hope I NEVER experience the absence of freedom. Personally, I will do all possible to keep it.

So if you get the chance,

thank someone who is serving your country to give you freedom.

They don't expect it, but they will like to hear it.


P.S. A personal THANK YOU to http://www.knightsandmaidensgathering.blogspot.com/
Cinnamon, you and your family are an inspiration!

I saw something today at school that touched my heart.



A young girl student worker prepared to leave for the day. Her boyfriend was here to take her home as he has done many times. As she neared the door, he stood-moved toward her and held out his had. She looked up at him since he was quite a bit taller. He took her bag and pulled her close. He bent for a quick kiss and and I saw their eyes. It was a look I am (or was) familiar with. Admiration? Infatuation? Friendship? Partnership?or Love?


He put his hand in at the small of her back as they walked out the door. Out into the beautiful sunshine, crisp breeze and walked away. Where ever they went I am sure it was together.



I am beginning to really miss John.

Miss his presence.

His 6'5", full frame with a size 13 shoe that tracked something into the house every day.

Hands like like a bear paw that totally engulfed mine.

Long brown hair and blue eyes.

Broad shoulders and handsome smile.

Dimple in his chin.

Strong, deep, commanding voice.

A man's man.

He could build anything and often did.

There was nothing on the ranch that he could not do.

Although he would say electricity was his least favorite. But he did that too.

He hunted, killed and cleaned every kind of meat found on our 80 acres.

Our freezer still holds the proof.

I completely trusted him and felt safe and secure no matter what the situation.

I miss his presence.

Hearing his voice, his footsteps and catching his scent as he came in the room.

I will forever hold him in my heart.

I think about him constantly and miss him even more.

I pray for patience and strength each day.

I am thankful for the comfort God gives me

and the joy that keeps me smiling-even through the tears.

I wanted to speak of the special love that I was fortunate to have known. I wanted to introduce you to the man I loved and always will. Maybe give you a peek into the man he was. In some strange way, it makes me feel good. To speak of him and smile...through the tears.