and a portion of the ranch.
While I am so very torn between my feelings, I move forward. This is my first time to make such a huge decision alone. I must admit I am terrified. Sometimes I actually get sick at my stomach.
Once the decision was actually made and I began to move forward, then came the stress. With the help from Michele, I found a precious house in town. If all goes as planned
I will be moving mid April!
So much to be done and so so stressful. It seems things were better for a while and now my feeling are all back to the surface. I look out over the ranch and think of the dreams John and I had. They were so short lived but I must remember, at least we lived them. We worked side by side building this ranch. We laughed, we fought, we worked, we played and we made alot of love. We watched the the skies at night and explored over every foot of our land. But now life off the dirt road is not the same. This was OUR dream, and without John, I am just lonely and isolated. But I have beautiful memories. They will be mine forever. What a wonderful chapter in the book of my life. My heart will forever be fuller for having John Murphy in it. I am so grateful to have lived a dream and shared it with the man I loved. I didn't want it to end, but God had a different plan. The sooner I accept that and find a new dream, the sooner I will find peace and happiness again. I am working on it.
God give me strength and patience.
That is my prayer every night.
7 comments:
You are doing so well, Brenda. It may not feel like it, but you are.
Are you keeping part of the land?
Deanna
Great and wise thoughts sweet friend. I am so happy for you!!
I have another friend, a widow, that did the same exact thing. She adjusted to her smaller home in town quite well and is closer to friends, family and church. Not that is't not hard. Of course it is. But God's strength is there when yours runs out. HE is with you sweet friend, He is always with you.
love and hugs~ Cinnamon
bless your heart...i just stumbled onto this blog.
you do have a full plate but God is BIG and faithful!!!!! :)
love,
mountain mama
Oh Wow, its here isn't it? I can imagine how torn you feel. What a mixture of emotions you must have. I am glad that you have found a house in town. Will you be closer to your daughter there? How is your little Grandbaby? I am saying a prayer for you that His grace will give you supernatural strength and a "quicker than you imagined" closing and moving process. Many Blessings,
Pam
Oh Wow, its here isn't it? I can imagine how torn you feel. What a mixture of emotions you must have. I am glad that you have found a house in town. Will you be closer to your daughter there? How is your little Grandbaby? I am saying a prayer for you that His grace will give you supernatural strength and a "quicker than you imagined" closing and moving process. Many Blessings,
Pam
While I don't know you I am still touched by your life through your writings here on your blog...been visiting now and then (came here through Knights and Maidens Gathering blog). Your life is testimony to the truth that the Lord is gracious and full of compassion. He really cares! Keep trusting Him through the difficult changes. And congratulations on the newest grandbaby...nothing like a sweet baby to love and hug to lift our spirits! :)
Blessings,
Debbie
Hey friend!
Just checking in to see how you're doing! Email me if you get a chance - I think of you and pray that you'll sense God's presence and his grace.
Deanna
Post a Comment