A Season for Giving Thanks

This season began for me yesterday. My first Thanksgiving dinner at the Murphy's without my main Murphy...John. Sometimes, my brain thinks-Why should I give thanks when my other half has been taken away? Then my heart says...look around there is still so much to be thankful for. A constant tug of war for me.

Before lunch, it was wonderful hearing my grown children laughing and enjoying their cousins. My sweet grand babies, just learning about the traditions.

Grandma rang the bell and it was time to find our places at the table

but my familiar hand was not there to lead the way.
As prayer was offered, my familiar hand to grasp was also not there.

I looked around and saw the smiles of my family and my heart was at ease.

After dinner there were the usual groups of talking and story telling. I kept expected John to come around the corner. Sometimes I even imagined it.

Then I knew he was there...there in all of us.

In his mother's smile and his siblings laugh.

He is all around me if I just look.
In the house I live in, the truck I drive,

the children he loved and raised

and most of all-in my heart.

For me, the holidays give us a special time to remember all of our loved ones that are no longer here. I remember precious traditions of years past. My parents, grandparents and all who I love and miss. I hate having to add John to that list.

I truly do. But I will smile and enjoy this season of giving thanks.

I am thankful for my children who hold me close.
I am thankful to family and friends who stand by my side.
And God in heaven for holding my hand.

What are you thankful for?